Hello Blogworld

So, I have friends who blog and I've always thought about blogging but figured , really? what do i have to talk about? then I started reading some blogs and realized most people just blog about their plain ole regular lives so...

I guess I'll start by telling ya'll a little about myself. 47 yrs old, 3 grown kids, been married 3 times. So yeah, I'm stubborn. lol While I am, in many ways, a very honest upfront person, I am also really private and don't share 'real' things with anyone.

Anyway, I need advice. Probably my main reason for starting this blog. I don't trust my own judgement, especially when it comes to men. I met a man on a dating site. He seems nice enough and we've been talking for a little over a month. He wants to come down and see me.
The thing is I liked his emails - they were funny, but his phone conversations are just BORING!! I don't like his voice (I know he can't help his voice but I just don't like it) and I'm usually doing something else while we're on the phone to keep from dying of boredom.

I'm trying to decide if I should go on with this planned meeting (next weekend) or call it off. A part of me says - you are just not interested in this guy - leave it alone, and another part says - lack of interest may be a good sign since the guys you're usually interested in always end up being total asswipes!

Dating in your mid-40's sucks. I keep hearing that 40-year olds have all the answers - well, let me tell you - I somehow missed the answer train. I don't know the rules anymore and 4 decades of assholes have made trust a real issue for me. I also have issues with sex (was sexually abused when i was 4-5 years old) and need a guy who is willing to get to know me and earn my trust before trying to jump in the sack with me. Does such a guy exist? I'm starting to think the proverbial 'nice guy' is just another urban legend right there with alligators in the sewers, and waking up in an ice-filled tub sans several organs.

Help!!